Day 20

Hi all! Matt and I are overwhelmed by your love and support that we have received! Honestly we are amazed by all the love and prayers we have received from all of you. I have to admit, we were very nervous about sharing our news. It was something that we prayed and prayed about hoping that God will give us the strength. It wasn't that we didn't think our friends and family would support us, it was just we were not sure what comments we would get or hear. I guess we were afraid, but we are honestly so amazed and thankful of all the love we have received, more than we could ever imagined.

Matt and I know this will not be an easy road. Right now we are just so overjoyed and excited that we are are getting a little one, but this could be a really long process with lots of what ifs which is scary. Honestly, Matt and I are just taking one day at time and trying not to get caught up in what might go wrong. There are many questions we have received from people we work with or people we have met that have been hard to answer. I guess I really don't know when someone says I cannot imagine giving up a child or I hope you have a calm birth mom so your baby doesn't cry all the time. Do you worry she will do drugs or use you to get medical bills paid? I wish I knew the "correct" way to react to this is, but I just try to respond the best I know how. I guess the biggest thing Matt and I have learned is that we are in no way in control of our lives. I hate to say that it took me 26 years to realize this, but has. God is in control! We are honestly just taking a huge leap of hope that it will all be okay that God will be with us every step of the way. We feel God lead us here, so I expect that he will protect us through it.

This past year has not been an easy one for us and it took us a while to get to the choice of adoption, but God put this in our hearts a long time ago. It just took us a while to listen. I am not sure if it will ever be easy to hear about people who have babies and are doing things they shouldn't like hiding a baby under a porch or letting their one year old roam the streets. I wonder why these people can have children but it is not my place to figure that out. I know throughout our child's life we will deal with issues that come up: questions about their parents, kids saying things to them about their background, and not being able to say that our child looks like us, Matt and I realize that it will not always be easy, but raising a child never is. We know our child will be lucky enough to be loved by two sets of parents. One that loved them enough to give them a better life and one that wished for a baby in their heart. I know God will protect us and guide us whatever happens.

Please pray for our birth mother and her child. We have not been priveledged enough to meet this remarkable woman, but I know God knows who she is and who our child is. Matt and I feel so excited this holiday season as we await the arrival of our child. We realize it could be months to a year, but whenever he or she arrives we will be so overjoyed as we know all of you will be too!

Hope you have a Merry Christmas! We wish you much love, joy, peace, and happiness in the new year!

Love you all