This is a post I have a taken a long time to write. I wanted it to be just perfect like our sweet little Lilah Rose. I really hope I am able to express meeting her for the first time.
I will never forget the day that Leslie told me she was expecting my sweet niece. We were sitting at our house and they had come down for a visit and she just blurted out I'm pregnant. I was shocked, excited, and felt an immediate love to the sweet little one she was carrying. I love being an Aunt to sweet Clay and I couldn't wait to have another little one to love! It was so fun to check in with Les through out her pregnancy and hear how active our sweet one was. I remember when she told us that she was having a girl. Matt got a call for Corey and I couldn't be more thrilled. I was so excited to have a niece to have fun with, be a loving aunt that would spoil her and do all the girly stuff with! I was really excited for Nella to have a little girl to play dress up, tea parties, slumber parties, and hear giggles during sleepovers. But then also to have a girl to share boy troubles with, friendship issues, and all that fun stuff girls go through. I was so close to my cousin, Megan, growing up and I was thankful that God was going to bring this sweet girl into our lives! I couldn't wait to meet her and snuggle her and watch her grow.
Sometimes God brings something into your life, that you weren't expecting. I know our God doesn't ever give us anything we cannot handle. I think that is the beauty about God because he gives us unexpected surprises and teaches us that we are stronger than we ever thought we were. God brings this into our life because he chose us because he knew we can handle it, actually not handle, but find joy, strength, and love when we weren't sure why he chose this path for us. He is always holding us and I think that is what is remarkable about him because you never know what God has planned for you and it teaches you to trust his love and judgment.
I will never forget the day when Leslie called me about Lilah and her condition. I was at school and all I heard was I need you and her sobbing. My heart broke and I drove like a maniac to their house praying, crying out God to somehow let me be a tool to help her, calm her, and be there in a huge way. When she told me, my heart ached for her. Not because this is not what was expected or not wanted, but because as moms we have this huge ability to protect our children and we never ever want them to experience pain or heart ache. I knew Leslie was worried about her life. How it changed for her, what she would have to overcome, and how she might be perceived. She wanted to protect her. She wanted to make it all better before she even had to experience anything. I cried with her. Held her. Loved her. and prayed! In my heart, while was holding my sobbing sister and brother, I felt God calm me. I felt him say it will be okay. It will be okay! She will be beautiful, loved, and joyous! She will have strength! Honestly, I have only felt like I have heard God talk to me three times in my life. And that was one of them. I felt him! I felt his calmness! I took Clay that night and loved him, fed him, and gave him a bath and brought him home to parents that needed love! They needed to know it would be okay from their community. Oh WOW did God ever give that. I know Leslie and Corey have had a huge out pouring of support and boy did they ever need that! I am so thankful that they have so many loving hearts in their lives. What a huge reassurance and support you all are! Lilah is one loved little girl!
The day Leslie was due to deliver Lilah, I had a pit in my stomach all day. I was so nervous! I could feel it in everything I did. I felt this lump in my throat the kind you cannot swallow and grows bigger in your stomach when you try. I kept telling my assistants at school that i felt like I was going to get sick. I just prayed and prayed. I prayed while i taught social skills as I patiently waited for kids to answer the question I just asked. I prayed and prayed for her. I prayed for Leslie, Corey, Clay, Doctors, and Lilah! I prayed! I wanted it to be okay. I didn't want my brother or sister to hurt anymore.
I left school half day and picked up little Clay. I was so excited to hold him and snuggle him. I wanted to see the excitement on his face. He didn't disappoint. He was excited as always to see Nella, Knox, and Liberty! He had his Big Brother shirt on and was grinning from ear to ear. I remember the concern in Leslie's face. I held her for a long time and kissed her check. I remember the moment I left Nella knowing it would never just be me and her again by ourselves and saw that look in Leslie's eyes as she said goodbye to Clay. I felt Corey's nervousness as I hugged him in the driveway. As Clay and I sang Mickey Mouse Clubhouse on the way home, i prayed and prayed! Little Clay fell asleep in the car and I carried him inside to finish his nap.
After naps, Matt and I got all three of the littles around to head to the hospital. Nella was pumped to be with Clay. Clay was excited to see his baby sister. Knox was just smiling at watching Clay and Nella. We were excited. We couldn't wait to see her and hold her.
On our way there...Corey called....seeing his number made my heart stop...I prayed before i answered..God this is it..please I beg you please let her be healthy.
And she was! Sweet Lilah Rose had arrived with much strength and brought joy just as God had said! She was healthy and doing well and she got to stay with Corey and Leslie so they could get to know her and snuggle her and tell her it was all going to be okay. God IS SO GOOD!!!!!!!
The Waiting ROOM
Here we are waiting to meet our sweet Lilah! We were all excited and would turn towards the door whenever we saw someone come out. We couldn't wait to see her and ooh and aww over her!
The big Brother
Yah! Lilah is here!
Even Knoxie is excited!!!
I don't think Grammie stopped smiling!
Two thumbs up from Grampie
We are excited!
I want to see her!
Walking into meeting our girl!
I will never forget walking into that room! I felt joy, peace, comfort, and total excitement to hold her! But when I got in there..I was watching everyone else. I watched their expressions of joy just pour out of their heart. Smiles! Lots of smile! Tear filled eyes and lots of she is beautiful were heard around the room. My heart was overfilled with joy. I felt a peace to see everyone just falling in love and fighting to hold her. I will never forget the amount of love that poured out of that room. If our room would have shone, it would have shone a bright pink shooting out of the door and windows with all the love and joy that was being felt. God was smiling! He was so pleased with his plan! I felt it!
This is my favorite picture of the day. He is so proud of his princess. He fell in love!
Happy Birthday to my sweet Lilah Rose. You are an unexpected gift. A gift that God chose for all of us and I am thankful that God brought you into our life. I know sweet love that you will teach us so much about you, ourselves, and the world. You are an angel sent to us. I love you Lilah! I cannot wait to watch you grow, learn, teach, and embrace this world. You are strong, beautiful, and bring so much joy to some many! XOXOXO
To my dearest sister
You are strong and beautiful!
I know God chose you to be her momma. He handpicked you to love her and guide her. He chose you because He LOVES you.
Because he knew of your strength and your ability to accept and love her with all your heart. And you do it so beautifully.
I love you so much!