Well....I am have been off work now for 4 days due to the ice storm and to say that I have enjoyed it would be an understatement....we were iced in really....and I have not gotten cabin fever...I am enjoying my bonus time with my little roo.....so I have come to a huge decision in my life....I have decided to accept things about me that I don't like and just ENJOY my life! See...my life is not perfect..shocker right...I am not the perfect mom, wife, teacher, friend, daughter....I make mistakes and often I feel lately defeated because I cannot do it all..the way I want to...I cannot keep my house clean the way I want...spend time with Nella the way I want....devote hours to school like I want to...have coffee with friends and remember to call just to catch up....spend quality time with my husband where we are not talking about roo, the house, bills, work, etc......and I cannot spend time with GOD the way I want....but you know what I am done...I am done making a billion to dos..and beating myself up when I cannot get to it...because you know what...those are things I want to do...dont have to do....and while I am worrying and running around..I am missing out on moments....so I will leave the huge pile of laundry in my closet and go and snuggle with my roo...I will not worry that I didnt get to my valentines for my students today and just realize that I did sing Nella 10 songs, read stories, made my husband smile, and talked to my sister and visited a neighbor.....because you know what its the relationships, the time with friends and family, making the students in my classroom smile, that mean the most....not my never ending to dos....this is hard for me...it is hard for me to decide between want tos and to dos..you know...but I am going to try not to get all caught up in..I want to enjoy my life....I want to embrace life's moments...I tell my husband all the time...this is a moment...so just enjoy it...like watching the sunset in San Diego...seeing our girl swim for the first time.....being iced in snuggling on the couch..etc.....
So roo and I decorated for Valentines...and worked on special gifts for the people in our life that mean the most because you know what..that is what my girl will remember about her childhood...all the fun, silly, moments in our life...not that mommy did 3 loads of laundry every Wednesday...or that she always had a neat house....does that stuff have to be done...yep...but I will take time out to just enjoy life! Because you know what my family is blessed on days when things are hard and I am not sure if I am really doing what I am suppose to...days where I have been up since 4:30 got roo to Miss Sarah's by 7:30...got to my classroom before 8:10....been kicked..spitted on...and cussed at...wasn't sure I made a difference at school...got to Sarahs by 4:30 to get roo..stopped at the grocery because we have no milk...running behind making dinner....roo wants to be held...I need to cook...etc etc etc...it will be okay because those are the moments where you know what I need to realize days are hard...things aren't perfect....but I am blessed!!!! I am blessed to be with my beautiful special students...blessed I have a wonderful Miss Sarah who loves my girl...blessed to have a home...money to get milk....and a beautiful loving family.....all the stuff and craziness may drive me crazy at times...but I am blessed!!!
My new favorite song....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqqdA8LHN7I
1 comments:
This was great for me to read! I loved heating about you letting things go. We both know what a people pleaser you are! You are amazing at everything you do. Such an amazing mom friend wife and teacher. Sometimes as moms we are our worst critics. When I look back on my life and think of the special people in it you are always there. You have been along beside me for 22 years!! That is amAzing! I'm so blessed to know you and am a better person because of you. So whenever you feel down and don't feel like you are doing enough or making a difference just know how much you truly inspire me an how much I love you dear friend!!
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