Just thinking

Yesterday, Matt and I went out and cut out all dead out of our landscaping beds...and I love seeing the new little green plants underneath....it reminds me of new life, spring, and hope....When I was cutting away the dead this year....I remembered this time last year and what I was feeling and how my world has changed...because of God's faithfulness to us...here are my words from last year:

I went outside and cut away all the dead stuff in our flower beds. There is something so therapeutic about being outside and working on landscaping. It was so neat to see the little green plants that were under all that dead. It made me hopeful...that with spring brings new life. It makes me hopeful that maybe our baby is coming and that under all this pain, confusion, waiting...there is our baby ready to spring into our lives. I have felt God talking to me lately. Some days are hard and I am tired of not knowing when our child is arriving and tired of waiting. I just want our nursery to have our little one there. I just want an answer of when. One morning.. I was crying and praying to God for strength to help get me through this because I was feeling so weak. It was crazy, but that day one of my friends, Theresa, brought in a card and baby book. She said she had been thinking about me and the card said that she was proud of my strength and that it must be hard to not know when our baby is coming. I was amazed because God did that. He knew I needed to hear it. It meant so much to me!

I was hurting so much last year at this time. Being in church was hard...because some days I was mad at God...mad at him for making me wait so long to be a mom...mad that our child hadn't come....and it was hard to see all the families hugging their babies...I wanted that...I wanted to have the clothespin from the nursery attached to my pants. I wanted to have a cute little one dressed up in their "church" clothes....I wanted to have a little one to dance with during our worship songs! I was hopeful too! I was hopeful God was holding me and leading us to adopt! I was hopeful God was working in our momma angel's heart! I was hopeful that God would send us the one..the one we had waited for! And he did! He rained down his love and then it all made sense...why the heartache..the pain..the wondering....it brought Matt and I together stronger than ever in our faith and it made me realize personally...that God is always holding me and always wanting to the best for us...even through pain!

Today in church we sang the song This is the One We Have Waited For...this song gets me teary eyed everytime...really for two reason....one that I was waiting on God's answer...God's plan to be revealed for our family...and because our precious Nella is the one the one I would sit on the nursery floor and pray for! The one that we were preparing for....it is crazy to think! Sometimes I look at her and I am amazed! Amazed she is here! She is ours! Still I feel God's love pour out of her and you know what...I don't think that will ever ever go away...or least I hope not.

So I am not really sure who reads my blog....I am not sure if anyone looks at this...but if you find yourself hurting today...find yourself...feeling lost, without hope, or hanging on by a thread for whatever reason..just know God is with you! He is holding you! He has a plan! He loves you and wants the best for you!

Our little love girl...is 10 months!!! Can you believe it? She is the sweetest, most loving, and funniest little love! She blows kisses constantly. She will lean back into me and give me the biggest wet kiss over and over. She giggles and smiles all the way to her toes. She loves to stand and walk with your hands. She makes this uh uh sound until you take her all around the house. She wants to go so bad....she is a talker! She talks constantly and with so much excitement...not sure where in the world she gets that from...Miss roo is a big eater girl too! She loves to eat and throughly enjoys her breakfast, lunch, snack, and dinner! She loves anything and everything!

Here are some pics of our girl this month! We are just enjoying hanging out and enjoying all our moments with our girl!

Nella is 9 months!!!!

Our little love girl is 9 months old! I cannot believe this precious little girl has been in our lives for 9 months! It has gone so fast and been the best! She is getting to be such a big girl! She loves to play on the floor with her toys, pull up and stand, and she even tries to cruise a little on the ottoman. She melts us daily with her sweet little voice. She says mama so sweetly now and I love to hear her. She says dada, baba (for bottle), and bye bye! She is quite the little person now and I feel like she does something new everyday! She is the sweetest little girl I know! She gives big wet kisses, hugs, and snuggles into you so sweetly. Nella got sunglasses at Target and loves them. I think we have a movie star on our hands! She painted special picture for her daddy for Valentine's day! Nella loved every minute of it! Happy 9 months my love!!!

Choose to Enjoy Life

Well....I am have been off work now for 4 days due to the ice storm and to say that I have enjoyed it would be an understatement....we were iced in really....and I have not gotten cabin fever...I am enjoying my bonus time with my little roo.....so I have come to a huge decision in my life....I have decided to accept things about me that I don't like and just ENJOY my life! See...my life is not perfect..shocker right...I am not the perfect mom, wife, teacher, friend, daughter....I make mistakes and often I feel lately defeated because I cannot do it all..the way I want to...I cannot keep my house clean the way I want...spend time with Nella the way I want....devote hours to school like I want to...have coffee with friends and remember to call just to catch up....spend quality time with my husband where we are not talking about roo, the house, bills, work, etc......and I cannot spend time with GOD the way I want....but you know what I am done...I am done making a billion to dos..and beating myself up when I cannot get to it...because you know what...those are things I want to do...dont have to do....and while I am worrying and running around..I am missing out on moments....so I will leave the huge pile of laundry in my closet and go and snuggle with my roo...I will not worry that I didnt get to my valentines for my students today and just realize that I did sing Nella 10 songs, read stories, made my husband smile, and talked to my sister and visited a neighbor.....because you know what its the relationships, the time with friends and family, making the students in my classroom smile, that mean the most....not my never ending to dos....this is hard for me...it is hard for me to decide between want tos and to dos..you know...but I am going to try not to get all caught up in..I want to enjoy my life....I want to embrace life's moments...I tell my husband all the time...this is a moment...so just enjoy it...like watching the sunset in San Diego...seeing our girl swim for the first time.....being iced in snuggling on the couch..etc.....

So roo and I decorated for Valentines...and worked on special gifts for the people in our life that mean the most because you know what..that is what my girl will remember about her childhood...all the fun, silly, moments in our life...not that mommy did 3 loads of laundry every Wednesday...or that she always had a neat house....does that stuff have to be done...yep...but I will take time out to just enjoy life! Because you know what my family is blessed on days when things are hard and I am not sure if I am really doing what I am suppose to...days where I have been up since 4:30 got roo to Miss Sarah's by 7:30...got to my classroom before 8:10....been kicked..spitted on...and cussed at...wasn't sure I made a difference at school...got to Sarahs by 4:30 to get roo..stopped at the grocery because we have no milk...running behind making dinner....roo wants to be held...I need to cook...etc etc etc...it will be okay because those are the moments where you know what I need to realize days are hard...things aren't perfect....but I am blessed!!!! I am blessed to be with my beautiful special students...blessed I have a wonderful Miss Sarah who loves my girl...blessed to have a home...money to get milk....and a beautiful loving family.....all the stuff and craziness may drive me crazy at times...but I am blessed!!!

My new favorite song....http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pqqdA8LHN7I

Our Nella is 8 months

Our little Nella bug is 8 months!!!! It is so hard to believe how quickly time goes! People have always told me that time goes so fast enjoy her....and it really does! How has this little love girl been in our lives for 8 months already! It is unbelievable!

She loves bath time! She splashes so much and loves playing with her toys! She giggles so much in the bath for no reason and it makes me laugh so hard! I hope to remember this forever! Remember these sweet little moments so someday I can tell her all about how precious she was when she was little! Bath times are my absolute favorite!

She is getting to be such a big girl! She loves brushing her teeth! She loves standing and takes steps already. She talks so much! She says mama, dada, baba, bob, and hi! She blows raspberries on my skin and giggles so much! She plays peek-a-boo now and loves it when you say where is Nella. She waves bye bye and hi! She gives kisses and hugs and it melts my heart when she wraps her arms around my neck and squeezes tight. She loves to eat and her favorite is sweet potato and any fruit! She is such a happy girl and smiles so big all the time. Her favorite toy is her dog Scout. She sings with him and also sings herself to sleep at night. She has the sweetest voice in all the world.

I am so thankful God sent us Nella! She is truly an angel!!!! Happy 8 months Nella

My new love!!!!

I am So in love with my new little nephew Clay Jameson Spencer!!!!! He melts my heart! On January 12th, we boarded a plane to head to San Diego to go meet my new favorite little guy! I was thrilled to finally see him after so many i chats, phone calls, and pictures. I wanted to see his sweet little face, precious hands, and little feet. I wanted to be able to tell him in person....I was his Aunt Janelle....so the day came and we headed to San Diego.....we were so excited!

When I first saw my little guy, he was snuggled up in a car seat as we all had a family reunion in the airport....I was dying to look him over and get him out and snuggle him...but I had to wait to get to Corey and Leslie's home to finally get my hands on him. I couldn't wait to hold this sweet little peanut. And then the moment came where Les, bursting with pride, handed me her precious angel...he was snuggly, warm, and was sleeping peacefully as I whispered in his ear that I was his Aunt Janelle and that I loved him with all my heart and that it took way to long to finally see him in person....I loved how snuggly he was! I wanted to remember this moment forever....I want to be able to tell him about how we flew all the way across the country to meet him! How adorable and tiny he was...he was so light and had such an angelic face!

Oh Clay....I enjoyed every minute with you! I enjoyed our snuggles, feeding you a bottle, seeing you look up at me with such a sweet little gaze, and most of all singing you little songs to help you get to sleep. You are such a blessing little man! You are so loved not just by your proud momma and dadda, but by all your family and you just melt all of us! We love you so!

And Nella was so intrigued by him....she looked at him so intently like she was telling him a deep secret! It was so hard to say goodbye! It was so hard to know that we will not see you for four months.....You will change so much....but we will get through it by i chats, cards, phone calls, and photos! We love you little Clay! We are so proud to be your aunt and uncle....we love you

San Diego Trip

Having Corey, Leslie, and Clay be in San Diego is hard....we miss them so much....so we WERE so thrilled to finally be going to San Diego to see them! This was Corey's first meeting Nella and we couldn't wait to meet our little Clay! We knew it would be fun, crazy, busy, but we didn't ever think it would be the perfect trip where we would have so many memories and laughs that we wouldn't want it to end.

I will forever remember the moment when Leslie met Nella...and now Nella and Corey's meeting will be engraved in my memory as well. She was amazing on the plane...have we said that we are blessed with the most easy going baby in the world....she was her happy self on the flight and then fell fast asleep in her carseat on the plane....she even slept through the landing....it wasn't until we started to get off the plane that her little eyes popped open!!! Mind you that it now 12:56 AM Indiana time....but she was so thrilled to meet her Uncle Corey! I loved watching Corey with her on this trip! They are so in love with each other and they have such a sweet goofy little relationship and watching them together I never stopped smiling! They are too cute!!!

Matt and I were worried about how she would do with the time change, new crib, new surroundings, etc....I worried and as she always does Nella rolled with it! She stayed up for about an hour and half after landing in San Diego. Woke up at 4 (which would be 7 Indiana time) had a bottle and then went back to bed until 6:30 San Diego time and then she was officially on San Diego time and napped during her regular times and just acted like she lived in San Diego....makes me giggle how amazing she is!

We had our Christmas morning our first morning in San Diego...being with Corey and Leslie for a special Christmas was so much fun! Yes, we had to pack entire suitcase with gifts and YES I went overboard with Clay's gift....but he is my first nephew so we get to spoil him! And Nella got spoiled by Uncle Cor and Aunt Les too! It was so fun just being a family and enjoying our Christmas morning! How fun a bonus Christmas with our babies all TOGETHER!!!

When we were trying to decide what toys to bring little miss...we decided her spatula was a must and I know it is funny...but it is one of her favorite things! She had to share it with Clay so he can have one when he is ready! :)

After Christmas, we headed to the zoo....It was amazing! I have never seen a zoo like this before! I felt like I was in another world! You all know how much I love animals and I was in heaven seeing all these different animals that I have NEVER seen in real life before! The weather was amazing and the vegetation there was gorgeous! I loved watching little roo with all the animals! She especially loved the gorillas and monkeys :)

Love this pic....

She was so intrigued by the gorillas....she just kept looking and tapping the glass....she really wanted to touch them

I loved my extra time with Nella....I loved being with family and just enjoying moments and just soaking in all my time with Clay, Leslie, Corey, Matt, and Nella....it was so delightful!

Matt and Corey are two peas a pod...seriously! I love when they are together! They are so happy and finish each others thoughts! I love how silly and how much Matt smiles when he is with his brother!

She loves SUNGLASSES!

I loved being with Les and watching her with Clay! I loved how in love they both are with each other! She is doing such an amazing job with her little man! It is so fun to be moms together!

Nella loves her Auntie so much!

The cutest little man

So when you are at the panda bears you have to be quiet because they don't like noise and I am so thankful we went to the panda near the beginning, because at the end of our zoo trip Nella couldn't contain her excitement about all the animals she had seen anymore! She told us all about what she was seeing in her sweet little voice so loudly! I loved it! People would just giggle and stare at us as we strolled along....it was too cute! She had so MUCH to say!

I love this pic.....you can just feel the love....cant you! Nella also got a little panda bear from the zoo....she loves him! Aunt Leslie named him Diego and daddy has him talk in a Spanish accent.....so adorable!

I loved watching these two together!

We went lunch out on the patio at a little Mexican restaurant! Nella loved being with her Aunt Les...she loved just snuggling with her!

And most of all she adored her cousin! It was exciting to see her with him! I could tell she was intrigued by him and she was so gentle and sweet with him! She cares so much for him already!

We headed to the beach! I was so excited to take Nella to one of my favorite places...the beach! There is nothing like walking along the ocean and feeling the sand on your toes! You feel such a peace there! and she loved it! She wanted to walk and go towards the water! She loved the sand too!!! She melted my heart! I will never ever forget that moment being there with her! It was weird...it was like the world disappeared and it was just us in that moment.....her sweet sounds and smiles as she squished wet sand in between her toes and her smiling at me will forever be engraved in my memory....now that was a moment!

Us with our babes and babies!

We even got to write Grandma Spencer a special message in the sand!!! Now how cool is that!

Nella loved the sand....she would just pick it up and let it drop through her finger tips! She was absolutely adorable! I was complete mush when we got off the sand......she melted my heart

We got to go swimming in January! She wore her itsy bitsy yellow polka dot bikini! Now daddy and I have been debating about her bathswits and mommy won! She looked so adorable in her little two piece! She loved the water! It was so SO cold like ice water but it didn't bother my little fish! She kicked and splashed and was so thrilled to be in the water!!!

We had such a blast in San Diego! I will never ever forget that trip! I will never forget meeting my little Clay! I am so thankful for our family! I am thankful that we got to go and enjoy Corey, Leslie, Clay, and Bella! It was so much fun and we have so many memories from that trip! It was so hard to leave and say goodbye! I wish we didn't have to...We love you all so much! Thank you so much for sharing your home with us! We love you so!

Little Maxwell is here!!!!

Little Maxwell Jones has arrived! To say that Matt and I are thrilled for our new little neighbor is an UNDERSTATEMENT! He is the most precious little man I have ever seen! He is so tiny, such a peanut! Here are our gifts from God....to think that God had a plan for Jess and I greater than what we even knew! To know that God was holding us through all our pain and whispering to our hearts that you will have love and you will be okay my child! God is amazing! I am humbled that he chose Jess to be Oli and Max's mom! I am humbled to be Nella's mom!
Nella is SO in love with her new little friend. She gives lots of kisses and looks at him with such deep love!
Here is little Maxwell and his proud momma! He is so precious and I am so grateful that Maxwell is here! He couldn't ask for better parents to love on him and they are all so in love with each other! Little Oli is so proud of his baby brother and has such a deep love for him! It melts my heart!
He has lots of hair like Nella did...but his hair has curl and stands straight up! He is such a doll!
God thank you for choosing Maxwell to be apart of Dustin, Jess, and Oliver's family! Thank you for watching over him so closely and making sure he made it home! We are so excited to see the love this family has for each other! God is GOOD!!!!