I look at her and I cannot believe she is here......and I get to be her mom. If someone would have told me someday she will be yours and you will be her mom, I wouldn't have believed them that I could have such a precious baby girl. It is hard to believe most days that I get to be a mommy to the prettiest girl I have ever seen!
This first picture is what her little hair looks like when I come her hair out in the morning. She loves it! She loves having her hair touched and played with. She always smiles when I say, who is the prettiest girl in all the world and we say Nella......We had just said that when I snapped this picture......maybe a potential ham for the camera :)
Friday, August 20, 2010
My heart continues to melt
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Janelle
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6:14 PM
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Friday, July 23, 2010
3 AM
She drinks her little bottle and then we snuggle. We snuggle in the darkness and quiet. It is different than during the day when it is so bright and busy. Where I feel like I have a million things to do, but I just want to sit with her and sing and talk. But at night we just sit there in the darkness and rock. I love the time. I could put her down right away, but I just savor this moment with her. It is crazy to think in 10 months she will be busy and all over the place and we probably won't have this snuggle time. There in the darkness, I think (dream) of what our lives will be like together. I think Mothers and daughters have a special bond and I am so excited about what our relationship will be like. I think about tea parties, dress up days, Mommy and Nella dates, and make believe play. I dream about girl talk and her having her first boy crisis. I hope she trusts me enough to turn to me and want a mom's opinion. I know there will be days when I will not be her favorite person. I think about those too. I think about sweet sixteen party, her first date, prom dress shopping, senior pictures.....I am so excited about this season of my life.....but for now we just snuggle and I smell her sweet little baby smell.....and enjoy the moment of the 3 AM feeding.....
These pictures are from her newborn photo shoot.....they melt me and especially the last one....I think it describes how we all feel....amazingly blessed and SO in LOVE with each other!!!!!
God is so GOOD!!!
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Janelle
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12:28 PM
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Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Nella is 2 months
Our little love is 2 months old today! Wow!!! I cannot believe it! She is so beautiful. Nella smiles so much and is such as sweet little girl. I love my little morning girl. She gets up everyday at 6 am! I love walking into her room and finding this bright eyed little girl so excited to see me! She is wanting to hold her head up all the time. Today, Miss Nella and I went to target. I thought I would put her in the Ergo to carry her around....nope, she wanted out so she could see where she was and what was going on...so cute! I have loved this past two months with my little girl. I am so thankful she is here! I am getting sad that summer is coming to an end as I wil have to go back to school....I have missed my students, but so enjoyed my time with my little girl. Nella is truly a joy! Matt and I are so blessed.
Things I (Nella) have accomplished in two months:
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Janelle
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1:09 PM
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Thursday, July 15, 2010
For this is the one we have waited for.....
I have waited to write this post because I knew it would be SO emotional......well here goes! As a little girl, I dreamed about becoming a mom. I was the little girl who constantly wanted to play house, took my baby dolls to the grocery store, and always wanted to hold the babies in my family. I loved babysitting. I loved being with kids! I dreamed of being a mom of having a little one who needed me or I could love with all my heart......Nella Grace is EVEN MORE THAN I COULD HAVE EVER DREAMED. Being her mom is the most amazing gift God could have ever given me. I have no idea why he chose me to be her mom....but we are SO SO SO blessed....God is so good! He is amazing!!!
I feel like I am in a dream every day of my life. I want more and more time with her! I feel like any minute I will wake up and she will be gone! I cannot believe she is REALLY here! She is our girl! She is the most beautiful little girl. She melts me every second of every day! I am so in love with her! I have never felt this way!
She is seven weeks old now... She has started to smile which melts me. My momma heart becomes complete mush when I see that little girl. She has started to make little sounds and it always leaves me wanting more. I want to hear it again! I want to see her lips push out that sound. She is constantly wanting to hold her head up and look around. She has beautiful brown eyes. I feel like she is trying to take everything in all the time. She wants to learn about her world and her life. She loves baths and smiles so much during them. She will even fall asleep.
My favorite time with her is on the changing table. She gets completely still and just looks up at me with her beautiful eyes. We stop and stare and look at each other. Like we are trying to tell each other a big secret. Then she will do this huge grin and I just want to take it all in. Every little moment. I want to remember. I swear I feel my heart grow more and more every day! Just looking at her I melt! Really you are ours. God chose us for you!
I feel like Matt and I have a HUGE responsibility. We are not only raising her for God and ourselves, but for her birth mom. I want Nella to know how loved she is! She has so MUCH love in her life....not only from her momma angel (birth momma) and us but all our family and friends. I cannot tell you how much it means to me to watch those around her with our girl! They MELT! It is not just me!!! I love to watch people hold her and talk to her! I love to watch their faces light up with happiness.....what a joy she is! A blessing for not only us, her momma angel, but everyone in our life! I am in awe!
I am loving being her momma! Being a mom, is so much more rewarding than I could have ever dreamed! She is angel sent from heaven truly! I feel like I am on cloud 9 every single day of my life! Thank you God for loving us, momma angel, and her so much!!! Thank you for bringing us together!!!
Love you all,
The Spencer family
Matt, Janelle, and Miss Nella
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Janelle
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6:43 PM
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Saturday, May 29, 2010
Nella Arrives!!!!
Hi there
What an incredible time this has been for Matt and I. I am not even sure where to begin!!!! We had signed up Faithful Adoption Consultants about 2 weeks ago and Courtney tries to help connect you with agencies that have situations available. On Monday, we got a call from Courtney with a situation about a little baby girl in Utah. We were both so excited!!! We told everyone we knew to pray that this was our little girl! I felt connected immediately and was so hoping that this was it!!!
We were presenting Tuesday morning! We had so much paperwork we had to get to them to be able to present. So Monday night we were busily getting things faxed and emailing paperwork. So Tuesday morning, the birth mom was going to look through all the profiles to see if she could find a family for her little one. We didn't sleep at all Monday night. We prayed and prayed and prayed that it would be God's will that this was our baby.
Tuesday at school was difficult, all I thought of was that there was a chance we could be parents Wednesday....did I forget to mention that she was due on the next day Wednesday.....it was exciting and so nerve wrecking.....SOOOOOO on Tuesday at 2:00 I got the call from Courtney that she picked us. I ran out into the hallway and cried.....I was going to be a momma!! I could not even believe it!!! Wow...there are no words for that moment! Just tears and thanking God for this gift! I called Matt immediately...he was still at work...he just said no way..no way....you mean it...we are parents!
There was much time for us to celebrate...we had so much to do..I was down in the bathroom as the social worker, owner, financial person called to help us get things set up. We had to set up flights, get paperwork to them, get things for the baby, and then get ourselves packed....it was honestly a whirlwind.
I didn't even get to see Matt until 7. Then our birthmom called us at 8 and then I wanted to get her a gift and so I ran out to Things Remembered. I got her, Nella, and me a bracelet that has an engraving that says Forever in our hearts.
So at 1:00 AM, Matt and I were finally ready to go!!!!!!!!! I didn't sleep all I could think about was holding this little baby and how amazing God is.....I was still in shock...there was going to be a baby! My baby, My baby girl.....
On Wednesday, we boarded the plane and headed to Las Vegas for a hour lay over then off to Salt Lake City. We talked about Nella and how awesome this is...how amazing God love is, and how many people were supporting us! We were in awe of the amount of love....from texts, to messages, to prayers, to helping us get there, to helping us with finances...just everything....wow we feel so undeserving and thankful at the same time
We keep ourselves occupied by making To-Do Lists, filling out Nella's baby book, completing paperwork for the adoption, and reading Baby Wise
When we landed we called Jodie, our social worker. She said our birth mom wanted us in the delivery room and she was at 7 so we needed to hurry. We hurried up and got our luggage and then heading off to get our rental car. The lady who helped us at Hertz found out we were adopting and gave us a free upgrade. The car was a keyless start....we couldn't get it started...here we are in a hurry and the fancy car won't start...finally we figured it out and heading out to get our girl. We followed Jodie to the hospital flying to get here so we wouldn't miss the birth.
By the way, Salt Lake City is BEAUTIFUL....the mountains are breath taking....when we arrived at the hospital, she was ready to push.
I was so nervous entering the delivery room....I wanted to run up and kiss her and tell her I was so thankful, but she was in labor so I was pretty sure that wasn't appropriate....I was wasn't sure how to be or what to say...there are no words...but I stood beside her and thanked her for everything and asked if I could hold her hand......I did...we rubbed each other's hands during the delivery....watching Nella be born was amazing....I will never ever forget it....during the delivery I would look at her birth momma and then her and honestly tears would just well up in my eyes...how do I ever express the depths of my gratitude...how can I tell her how much this little girl means to me....how much she means to me for doing this not only for Nella, Matt, and I, but our family and friends....how do I ever thank God enough for her......it was a flood of emotions.....
After Miss Nella was born, we watched her go the warmer and them check her over and then we got to hold her......she was so tiny with this little head of hair. She was wide awake and looked up with her with her big brown eyes....looking at me and saying you are my momma....as I looked at her and thought you are my little wish come true....she melted me right then and there....I was in love with her before she was here, but seeing her precious little face just melted this momma heart.....Matt held her next....the love he has for her when he looks at her just pours out of him....you can see that he is in love truly in love with this 6 lb 2 oz little Nella bean.....We had our first family pic and then headed to the nursery......Matt went got our birth momma some food from Wendys(that is what she wanted) and we just continued to thank her and love on her....I don't feel like she will ever know how much Nella means to us and how much she means to us.....she is AMAZING...our birth momma is the sweetest, selfless, compassionate, strongest woman I have ever been priveledged to meet. She is an ANGEL...
While we were in the nursery, we saw Nella have her first bath....she loved the water part and getting her little full head of hair washed. We struggled with getting her to eat...the nurse worked with her and me for long time, but we couldn't get the little peanut to eat.....We then called all our family and friends and texted them about little Nella's arrival. Later that night, we continued to share the good news of little Nella bean being born and we just stared at her....stared at this little gift, but such a huge gift....we are in awe of God's plan. I often wondered and dreamed of this day and how things would go and what our child would look like....but seeing her, feeling the emotions, meeting her remarkable birth momma......I am truly in awe and God's love is amazing......Oh how HE loves us!!!!!!!!!! We enjoyed our first night with Nella as a family....just the three of us....we sat and stared at this this little peanut....God IS SO GOOD
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Janelle
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7:59 PM
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